I'm back from Bali, and it was quite a nice holiday. A little bit too short, I think. Though my time there has made me very very tanned.
I'm working on redecorating my room now, and I've decided to paint the walls a shade of blue-green.. hopefully that turns out well! It's a rather arduous task but I reckon I could be done in four days, and I'd be able to enjoy my "new" room by the weekend.
I would like someone in my life, though time on my own has made me realize exactly that- I am on my own. Well meaning people would say "don't go searching for it", "the right one will come to you", "you can't keep asking for it" etc, but this is not true.
Today on tv there was an ad for the Phantom of the Opera musical. I was humming the tune (I usually sing it) absently when suddenly I remembered how I made Jaspreet laugh with my Mosquito Opera (it really wasn't that funny but she'd laugh anyway), and how we used to try to reach the high notes when we hummed the tune together. Gosh. Why am I tearing up again.
I still cannot believe that Jaspreet is gone. I cannot seem to let her go. I can't see how it would be possible for me to move on with my life, and I don't want to leave her behind. I don't want to.
It's different when you leave a relationship. It is easy to convince yourself the other person doesn't love you anymore, or vice versa. You know the other person will move forward eventually. But this. It hurts my heart and my head so much.
