Once again, I was prompted to talk about this topic because I saw the urgent need to educate stupid, backward, vacant and self-righteous people on this issue. I am sorry that you are stupid, backward, vacant and self-righteous. It is not my fault.
A discussion with a friend today made me roll my eyes with disgust. This all started from his wanting of a wife who is a virgin. When prompted he was quick to give the analogy: "if someone has licked the lollipop, would you still want to eat it?" To which I got very agitated and riled up in a very 'what the rhymes-with-duck' sort of way. So I said, it really doesn't matter to me if my partner is one or not. It doesn't make you who you are. My friend then said: "But it's different, for girls it is ok!!"
I then pointed out that there was this double standard, and we can't define someone based on their virginity. My friend then asked how I would define someone.
"Through his character, his beliefs, and his actions."
Obviously, I am opening this up to all sort of challenges: If she's so righteous and virtuous and good then she wouldn't be having sex (before marriage) would she? If she believes in purity and holding out then surely she would do no such thing?
Then let me ask you: WHY is she holding out? Why does she have to feel that if she wants to be a good person, she has to be good and kind and all that ridiculous crap AND be a virgin too? Because God said so? Because you said so? Society said so? What?
You can be sure that people who still subscribe to this are the same people who bash homosexuals and the like.
I'm not advocating for you to go out there and have wild sex or whatever. I'm saying do what you want to do if it is right, and if you have made the best judgement that this act is something that you want to do. That is all.
Sarah, what if I want to go shoot a school full of school kids? Can I do that?
Sigh.
There really is no pleasing everyone, huh? Please don't take my arguments out of context. My point is this: if you want to have sex, have safe sex. If you don't want to have sex, don't. Because, get this into your skull: It doesn't matter. Unless you have unsafe sex or multiple partners or engage in dangerous and risky behavior, and you have sex because you have nothing else to do, and not because you see it as a biological need/ sacred act of love then you should come with a warning label.
This, of course, applies to people old enough, and of rational mind to decide what is best for themselves. You have to be old enough to decide what is best for you. I'm not saying we have to accept it because 'it is happening anyway'. I am saying accept it because it's time to stop looking at people (and especially time to stop making girls feel) like they are one dimensional caricatures and that their lives are based on ONE single act.
It's like, hating on someone because he likes to eat Oreos. Or because he is bald (unless he's Vin Diesel. No one hates on Vin Diesel anyway.).
If you are one of those guys who still believe this, and you want a virgin wife/ girlfriend (maybe so you can sacrifice her blood to the Gods of something something) for whatever reason, maybe it's time to look at your own values, and think instead, of what is important to you. What values would you like in a partner? Perhaps those are qualities that you should focus on, because it is that that would make your relationship meaningful and worthwhile. Seriously.
If you want someone kind hearted and loving, someone caring, look for that instead. These are qualities in a person that ate fundamental, rather than certain traits or features that really don't represent a person as a whole. Think about it. You're not marrying someone because he or she is a virgin (or because he is 1.7m tall, or because he has had a LASIK etc), you fall in love with someone perhaps because he is intellectual (if you like that kinda thing), charming, makes you laugh and so many other things that enrich your life.
If you are still unconvinced, then good luck to you and I can only hope that the sacrifice was worth it! (Let me know how it tastes yeah) Of course, you may hold a different view and you may see it from some other perspective, and that is fine. But I really urge you to think about why you perceive things a certain way, and if it was true, and you are hold firm to your beliefs then that is fine too. And you are stupid. Ok ok, I'm kidding.
Girls, boys, (including the over twenty fives ah) and all my chickies in between, please always know that you decide what is best for you. Be brave. Make decisions based on your values, and not because you have no choice, or you felt lonely etc. If you think about what is important to you, and why it is important, then it will always guide you. Do you see where I am going with this?
Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't a good person because you wear your hair a certain way, or because you're not a virgin (beware the person who tells you that.. He might want to sacrifice your blood to some pagan God. Sorry pagan gods!) or because you like Oreos or because you have long hair or because you paint your nails or because you don't use deodorant (ok, then you should start, please!) Or because you have a tattoo or don't shave your 'pits... ...
You are not your virginity/ hair/ what you eat. You are so much more than that. Believe and live your values. Your thoughts and actions make you who you are (and if sex is one of those many things you do then so be it!).
And lastly, girls, honestly, if he doesn't/ can't accept you for that one thing, then move on, honey. He won't ever understand nor accept you. Find someone else who does. And do enlighten him that he might be looking for the wrong "qualities" in a person. That's the very least you could do for him.
Till the next time...
Have a great day!
